Throughout the journey that we call life, I have encountered a lot of things. While many of them have been pleasant and great, there were others that made me wonder whether there is such a thing called a “soul”.
There are four maxims that I have seen – two of them have proven to be among the utmost forms of trickery (in my own opinion); while the other two have been very good signposts in terms of how to handle many aspects of my life.
Forgive and forget
If history is supposed to be a good teacher, then one of its most well-known maxims would be, “Never forget in order not to repeat the mistakes of the past.”
We don’t apply this in interpersonal relations though. We keep on saying “forgive and forget,” because “it clears the mind”, “it makes you stronger”, nada-nada, the list goes on.
Guess what? That’s a freaking lie, to say it mildly.
Let me tell you something.
If you experience something that is rather traumatic (or really broke down your personal mental health) at one point or the other, would you be able to actually forget what happened?
Well, I do know well that ‘forget’ is used in the sense that if one forgives, then one should also put that slight or bad experience under the carpet.
Only Pollyanna and her misguided friends do that.
That’s not how the world works. It’s (excuse me for the next word: stupid) and unrealistic to expect this.
It is better to forgive like a child and place it somewhere at the back of one’s mind (not for vengeance or anything like that, hell no) so that one will be wary and know what to do when that same crap comes up again.
As the old adage says, “fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.”
I don’t know what people think about this, but personally, this is one of those ideas that I’ll never, ever, EVER FULLY EMBRACE in my LIFE.
I’ve been screwed up already and I believe I know how reality looks like, both from the inside and the outside.
High school is the best time of one’s life
If I wasn’t inside the teaching profession (and if I didn’t act out of respect to my elders and students who might read this), I would have said some different “choice words” to express my feelings about this notion.
High school doesn’t give you a time to reflect on what’s happening in your life. Between the hormones, the deadly school schedules and the homesickness that you receive, the experience of high school in itself ensures that it is indeed a forgettable phase in one’s life.
I’ll understand people who say that university is the best part of one’s life – because I DO LOVE UNIVERSITY. Especially if you study in a decent one, the opportunities, memories and the experiences you receive typically define your later life in a lot of ways.
As for my experience, let’s just say that it was one hell of an uphill battle where I need to deal not only with a belligerent studentry but also with teachers who are full of crap as well as situations that are inherently stupid.
No offense to the wonderful teachers that I have, but landing way down the behavior list in high school during graduation as well as a possible omission in a certain award should tell you the kind of crap that I needed to face.
As a result, I don’t consider high school life as a WONDERFUL and JOYFUL PART of MY LIFE, because that’s…
(That’s despite the popular notion that IT IS INDEED A GOOD PART of ONE’s LIFE, being immortalized in cinema, songs, etc. etc.)
Sorry, not sorry.
On the other hand, there are two things that I would gladly agree on:
Put your money where your mouth is
Well, it’s just a cheeky way of saying that you should back your opinions with the strength of your actions.
It’s also a way of actually implying that those people who are unable to do this are spineless – or don’t deserve to be called humans.
A softer way of saying it would be “practice what you preach” as well as “walk the talk.”
I admire those who make bold statements and are able to deliver them to the table. In my book, these are the people who should be labeled as heroes.
Personally, I try my best never to renege on my vows and to do my commitments to the utmost best possible.
Be there, no matter the ups and downs
There’s a very crazy way of saying this actually: “Those who weren’t there when I was down don’t deserve to be/shouldn’t be around when I’m up there!” In another way, “Those who didn’t see me at my worst don’t deserve me at my best.”
Sounds very unapologetic, but it’s just basically a way of saying that true friends or comrades are the ones who are actually there, regardless of the ups and downs that one faces in life.
There’s even this quote about friendship in another language: “Friends are for good occasions. Comrades/best friends/confidants are for all occasions, especially the bad ones.”
I am frank when I say I don’t have a lot of friends. But those I consider to be so, I try to hold them as tightly as I can.
I just hope that I am able to be with the people whom I consider dear to me when they are facing their downs…and help them in one way or another.
After all, if this applies to me, then I should be the one to try to practice it, no?
Well, I guess those lessons have contributed to a better understanding of the life that I have lead over the past few years.
But this doesn’t mean that I’ll just brood on the past and stop living in the present (so that I can hope for a brighter future, no?)
To share a funny moment:
I tried skiing once. I was able to control many of the sessions I did.
So I tried going all the way from the top of the high hilltop.
It was exhilarating, only to find out that I am unable to control my speed towards the end!
Obviously, I was speeding to the bottom of the hill – and I bumped into a group of tourists, bumping and flying quite high into the air!
When I became sober from the odd incident, an instructor came and told me:
“Bro, next time, control your speed. And if you are a beginner, do not attempt to start from the top of the high hill, will you?”
That was one hell of a ride!